I’m back!!! After what seemed like the LONGEST trip of my life, I am soooo happy to be back home with my family, my doggies and sleeping in my own bed! Ahh there’s nothing like your own bed!

I’m not really sure where to start with sharing my trip. If I’m being perfectly honest with you all, I will say that it wasn’t all awesomeness. There were more than one aspect of this trip that I didn’t enjoy AT ALL. For example, I spent all but 2 days being sick. Nothing is worse than having the flu when you are away from home. Also, if you’ve ever been to a place like Ethiopia you will know how terrible the air pollution is. So on top of trying to fight a nasty fever, I also dealt with very congested lungs, almost to the point of not being able to breathe. Oh, and if that wasn’t enough…I am now (potentially) dealing with an intestinal parasite. Yippee!

This trip was a VERY emotional one for me. Those of you who know me know that there was a deeply personal reason for this trip of which I majorly underestimated the impact it might have on me. I also found myself constantly emotional about the children and the poverty. And why? I have seen this all before. This is not my first time traveling to Ethiopia. Its not the first time I’ve looked a starving mother in the eyes as she tries to show me with her tiny hands that she needs food for her withering newborn baby, and its definitely not the first time I’ve been approached by a small street kid with outstretched hands asking me for a tiny bit of money for he and his mother to eat. But the truth is, no matter how many times you see it, nothing prepares you for it. You’d think it would get easier every time it happens, but it doesn’t. I’ve become much better at masking how I feel, but at the end of the day when I’m alone, I had a couple of really good cries. Its all very personal to me. Because as I’m looking at these people, I see my daughter. And the reality is, any one of these kids could have been her looking back at me.

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On the flip side to this, Ethiopia is NOT all sadness and plight. Not by a long shot. It does this beautiful country, its culture and its people a huge disservice to believe nothing but what celebrities and aid organizations have unfortunately led the Western world to believe. Ethiopians are some of the happiest, warmest, generous people you have ever encountered, even despite the past and present circumstances in their country. They will give you everything if you have nothing. They will force you to eat, even if you aren’t hungry. They will go above and beyond to make sure you feel like a welcome guest. Many of them live relatively normal, middle class lives going to work and raising their children. I spent most of my time with a friend’s family who was exactly this. They didn’t have iPads, they didn’t drive expensive cars or live in elaborate homes. But they had family, they had quality time to spend together and they had roofs over their heads and shoes on their feet. Many times I found myself thinking: I think they have it right. I think these people know what’s REALLY important. Something I think the Western world may sadly be missing…

This trip was different for me than the first time I was in Ethiopia.  Maybe because the first time I was there was for an adoption and because meeting and spending time with our much anticipated little girl was at the forefront of our minds. I have no idea. But the food tasted different this time. The air smelled different. There was a very different ‘feel’ about my time there and I can’t quite figure out what was different about it. Seeing things from a local (as opposed to tourist) perspective definitely made me more uncomfortable than I ever imagined it would. It forced me to step outside the comfort of my cushy Western life and TRULY see how every day Ethiopians experience their day to day lives. These people are SO happy. They are truly, genuinely grateful and appreciative of everything they have and the lives they are living. I was in one family’s home while I was there. The entire home was made of mud and was no bigger than about 20 feet by 20 feet. A family of 3 lived there. They owned a small dresser, a few chairs, a radio, an old (I mean OLD) television set, a few cooking utensils and one small bed, which they all slept in. By North American standards they were beyond poor. But guess what? They were happy. They had medical problems and required medication that they could not afford, but they were happy. They had no running water, indoor plumbing or reliable electricity, but they were happy. They walked TWO HOURS each way to work every day to earn less than $1 wage, but they were happy. I’m sure many of them know how Westerners live and how ‘rich’ we are. But they don’t complain. They just live.

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I felt ashamed. Because just the week before I was complaining to my husband that I wanted a new $2000 camera lens. And that our house was too small. And that I needed new, more comfortable shoes. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with us? Its sad really. I know that all of this will sound so cliche, but it really is a life-changing experience to be right there in the presence of so many people who are less fortunate than myself. Every.Single.Person needs an experience like this. A wake up call. An opportunity to feel humbled. To see how out of balance this world really is. To remember how very, very lucky we are. To remember that life and happiness isn’t about camera gear, new shoes or going on that vacation that you’ve convinced yourself you need or deserve. Its about appreciating what you have and who you have. Its about enjoying what time we have with each other here and now. Deep down I think this is why photography is so important to me in my life. Because if we don’t have, appreciate and remember what and who we have, what do we have? We really have nothing. And that’s what makes a person truly poor.

I felt compelled to take some photos for this family. For personal reasons, I won’t post all of the images. They are a family who are very dear to my heart and I look forward to somehow returning the images to them so that they can enjoy them, and maybe even hang them in their home.

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I spent most of my time in the capital city of Addis Ababa, as well as the much smaller town of Ambo, approximately 2 hours outside of Addis. I brought my camera with me most of the time I was out and about with the hope of capturing some of the sights. What I didn’t expect was that often times in the more rural areas, the children rarely (if ever) see foreigners (or ‘Ferenji’ as they call us). So a few times I found myself unexpectedly swarmed by what seemed like 100 curious children in a split second! Would it have made for a cool photo-op? Maybe. But like most of my trip, I often just found myself enjoying the moment for what it was. Or in some cases, feeling totally overwhelmed. Next time, I want to travel with another photographer. Or at the very least my husband who has some knowledge of how to take some decent photographs. Because on a trip as big as this, it was hard for me to find the balance between being in the moment myself, and being ready to capture someone else’s!

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I don’t forsee myself taking a trip like this again for quite a while. My body has made it perfectly clear to me that I am NOT a world traveler. LOL! Not only that, but I feel like I really need time to process most of what I have experienced on this trip. I know my desire to travel, specifically to Ethiopia will come back. So I am sure that this won’t be my last opportunity to share images and stories with you from another trip. If you’re still reading, thank you! I know MANY friends and family have said that they were looking forward to hearing about the trip. I just hope I have not come off as ‘preachy’. I just wanted to be open and honest with you all about my feelings and observations.